Pour Some Gravy On Me

I Has Moved

2009-05-11T05:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Reader,

In the event that you are reading this blog, and want to read more, please visit its new home at:

http://www.poursomegravyonme.co.uk

Thanks!

The Official Celebrity Big Brother Pole - The Final

2009-01-23T08:39:00.000-08:00

It's the final day of CBB for another year, and as such we've compiled two separate poles:

The Order We Think They Will Finish

1. Verne

2. Ben

3. Coolio

4. Ulrika

5. Terry

The Order In Which We'd Like Them To Finish

1. Terry

2. Coolio

3. Verne

4. Ulrika

5. Ben

We'll be back after the final to see how our predictions fared.

The Official Celebrity Big Brother Pole - 22nd Jan

2009-01-23T05:54:00.000-08:00

Apathy has set in, right before the final. Yesterday's results were:

1=Terry

1=Coolio

3=Ben

3=Ulrika

5. Verne

It's all getting very tight, and Verne has plummeted down the rankings. Who will win? You decide. Well, you do if you bother to vote.

The Official Celebrity Big Brother Pole - 21st Jan

2009-01-21T10:06:00.000-08:00

Getting near the end now and my will is fading fast:

1. Terry - Takes advantage of Verne's slip.
2. Coolio
3. Ben
4. Ulrika
5. Verne - A tremendous fall from grace - and this is with JLS voting too!
6. Tommy
7. La Toya

The Official Celebrity Big Brother Pole - 20th Jan

2009-01-21T04:35:00.000-08:00

The 'pole' is controversially being published a day late, due in no small part to this controversial letter:

Steven,
I feel in would be inappropriate for me to participate in today's BB
Pole as I failed to watch last nights show.
It is with deep regret that I did
not fulfil my duty last night. As a result I feel that the only way manner in
which this situation can be rectified is by you solely calculating the scores
for the BB Pole today.
Apologies,
Your esteemed colleague.
JLS

So, as a result, I had to compile the rankings alone, so alone, cold and lonely. And here they are (mainly based on chillie eating):

1. Terry - Terry has been my personal pick since the beginning and it's JLS' love of Verne that has kept him from the top spot.

2. Ben - Remained very calm whilst eating chillies.

3. Verne - Eating two chillies must count as more than double for Vernon.

4. Coolio - Only had two chillies.

5. Ulrika - Needs to cheer up.

6. Tommy - Still not recovered from the day he went mental.

7. La Toya - Laughs like her brother. Disturbing.

The Official Celebrity Big Brother Pole - 19th Jan

2009-01-19T10:10:00.000-08:00

Sometimes they say that you shouldn't vote out the annoying contestants because they provide more entertainment. To an extent I agree with the sentiment. In Tina's case, she had to go, and she thankfully did. Oh, and Mutya skulked out, leaving the pressing question, 'did she get paid?'.
It's all change on the leaderboard after a busy weekend:

1. Coolio - He's sprung to the top spot from nowhere, and he probably provide most value.
2. Terry - Steady Eddy, well, Steady Terry.
3=Verne - Has slipped down the rankings as I still try to come to terms with his drunken antics.
3=Michelle - Does she like Ben?
3=Ben - Does he like Michelle?
6. Ulrika - Quite low because she whacked Terry.
7. La Toya - I've nothing against her, she just isn't really involved.
8. Tommy - Went a bit mental last night.

There's an eviction tonight, so will it be Tommy to go? We'll see you tomorrow.

The Official Celebrity Big Brother Pole - 16th Jan

2009-01-16T08:54:00.000-08:00

Oh it's eviction night and the feeling's right. For Tina to be booted out.

1) Verne - Back on top, mainly for jumping off some boxes in to Michelle's arms.

2) Coolio - He's the only contestant with a cookery book.

3) Terry - The manc slips.

4) Ben - Moves up a couple of places due to his hiding under a duvet.

5) Michelle - A non-mover, despite catching Verne.

6) Mutya - Up two places for a sterling performance on the giant piano.

7=Ulrika - Crys over children.

7=Tommy - Slips four places for pretending to sleep through Carwash.

9) La Toya - Not unpleasant, just a bit too anonymous.

10) Tina - How can she simultaneously believe the following facts about her chances of beating 80,000 hits for her ballet challenge? A) "I'm not going to lose, no way, I'm on fucking Channel 4" and B) "I told you we'd lose, I just said we'd only get about 30, 40 thousand hits". They can't both be right love.

The Official Celebrity Big Brother Pole - 15th Jan

2009-01-15T07:22:00.001-08:00

It's all change today, as we approach eviction night:

1=Verne - Still top because he had a race on his shopmobility scooter.

1=Terry - Slowly creeping up to challenge Vernon's lead.

3. Tommy - A big surge today for Tommy, principally for chasing Verne round dressed as a racing car. Oh, and for not being totally anonymous.

4. Coolio - Gone up a place for showing us his caring side.

5. Michelle - Down a place for too much whinging.

6. Ben - Was he even on last night's show? Oh yeah, the unscary dinosaur.

7. Ulrika - Making a late surge to avoid relegation.. I mean, eviction.

8. Mutya - Dropped 5 places for being a big sulk. Is she trying to get evicted?

9. La Toya - Might as well be a ghost.

10. Tina - Vile.

The Official Celebrity Big Brother Pole - 14th Jan

2009-01-14T06:02:00.001-08:00

What a shocker! How on earth did Coolio not get nominated? Is he a genius of manipulation as the Daily Star claim, or was it just dumb luck? You decide.

Two of the people nominated (Tina & Ulrika) were in our bottom four yesterday, giving us a 50% success rate at predicting the nominations. As for predicting who will be evicted, JLS wants Tina to go and thinks she will too; I want Tina to go but think it will be Michelle that leaves.

Today's 'pole' is as follows:

1. Verne - Mainly here because JLS thinks he is cute.

2. Terry

3. Mutya

4. Michelle - The top four stay the same despite heavy duty whinging by Michelle & Mutya.

5 = La Toya

5=Coolio - I can't quite decide if I really like him or can't stand him - and so he is ranked exactly in the middle.

5=Tommy - Today's big mover going from 9th to 5th - I suspect purely 'cos he hasn't moaned too much.

8. Ulrika - Apparently she thinks she is better than everyone else.

9. Ben - Ben is surprisingly low for someone so inoffensive, but perhaps that's his problem.

10. Tina - She has to go.

The Official Celebrity Big Brother Pole - 13th Jan

2009-01-13T09:07:00.000-08:00

After being thoroughly disgusted with the Daily Star's ranking of the CBB housemates, ie. Tina wasn't bottom, my esteemed colleague, Mr Joseph "JLS" Waugh, and myself have compiled our own, correct version (see attached photo). We both independently voted and combined these to provide the definite countdown of who to like and who to despise. The official 'pole' is thus:

1. Verne

2. Terry

3. Mutya

4. Michelle

5. La Toya

6. Coolio

7 = Ulrika

7 = Ben

9. Tommy

10. Tina

Come back tomorrow to see how things have dramatically changed.. or possibly be exactly the same.

Bore Me More

2009-01-08T12:41:00.000-08:00

OK, I know I’ve previously claimed to not like reality TV shows ('X-Rated'), but I’ll admit I'm already hooked on Celebrity Big Brother. And, in what seems a paradox, the less interesting it is, the more I’m enjoying it. I don't think that's as stupid as it sounds though, and it goes back to a long standing problem I have with BB.

For a casual observer, it would be very easy to label the current housemates as set of dullards, with some showing all the personality of a damp sponge. But this is a bit of a trick, since the endless parade of freaks that has blighted both versions of Big Brother have left anyone without a serious personality disorder seem a bit of a bore. In television terms they're 'boring', but this equates in the real world to 'normal', and they've clearly gone down this route for a reason;I think we all want to avoid a repeat of the petty schoolground bullying that Shilpa Shetty endured a couple of years ago. This reluctance to put anyone too extreme in to the house has inadvertently shown something that Channel 4 forgot a long time ago. You don’t have to play ringmaster to the circus of the damned in order to have an enjoyable show. And, that simply watching relationships develop, seeing how they deal with group conflicts and the tedium of the house can provide entertaining viewing in itself. You don't have to poke them with the cattle prod called Controversy every five minutes; in fact it becomes counter productive to do so as you get embroiled in an escalating game of one-upmanship with yourself, desperate not to have all subsequent episodes seem anticlimactic. If you have the courage to let things develop naturally, then sure, you don't make headlines in the tabloids every day and channel hoppers will think nothing is happening (and will tell everyone they work with that nothing is happening). However for those who stick with it, you provide a much more rewarding and genuine experience.

I stopped watching the regular Big Brother a few years ago after becoming sick of the battling neuroses. When I first started watching the show, with the relatively sedate BB2, the reason I liked it was because they all pretty much got along, they had a laugh and you felt part of the family. I eagerly awaited BB3, which Channel 4 had seen fit to spice up by turning it in to a hermetically sealed Club Reps. It might be me, but the constant slanging matches and people getting wanked off under duvets seemed like something of a decline in comparison. Perhaps this is why the more sedate amusement of Verne’s cabs and LaToya the jester seems like a refreshing change.

Sadly, I suspect that I'm in a minority of one, and that they'll have Jodie Marsh and Jackie Stallone shipped in by the weekend to save plummeting viewing figures. I'll just have to make the most of it while it lasts.

New Who

2009-01-06T11:20:00.000-08:00

When I read online that they were going to reveal the new Doctor Who on Saturday, I found myself to be unexpectedly rather excited. So much so that I found myself constantly flicking over from Liverpool’s match against Preston to catch the announcement on ‘Doctor Who Confidential’. And, it would have to be something very interesting to make me turn over from a Liverpool match.

I’m not entirely sure why I was so intrigued. I’ve watched and enjoyed the show since the re-launch, but I’m hardly in the category of enthusiast. I think it’s probably that, in the age of the internet, there are so few surprises for the TV fan. It seems like more people read previews and spoilers than watch the shows themselves. Sure, it would have been more thrilling for us to learn the identity of the new Doctor within the show itself, but this was the next best thing.

Throughout the programme, we were teased as to the identity of the esteemed actor, with the clues being that he was young, young and that he was 26 (which is young). I was a bit baffled; him being 26 ruled out all the bookmakers favourites. I just had my fingers crossed that they hadn’t totally sold out and hired a pretty boy type for such an iconic role. When the moment of revelation actually came, I must admit I made no reaction; I had to actually wait until the caption came on screen before I was satisfied that this guy was actually the new Doctor and not just one of the crew talking about him.

Turning to my trusted friend, the IMDB, I soon discovered that Matt Smith is one of the most popular names on there, however, I didn’t find out what else he had been in. After a bit of digging, I found that not only was he the eleventh doctor, he was the eleventh Matt Smith on IMDB. That’s synchronicity for you. Overall my initial feelings were one of disappointment, mainly because if you don’t know the actor at all, then you can’t really play the game of imagining what he will bring to the part. Even an established actor that you didn’t like would still give you that dubious pleasure. But unlike some of the more rabid internet forum dwellers, I soon began to warm to the appointment.

Firstly, despite his age (yes, he’s 26, can we all get over it now please?), he definitely looks…interesting, and clearly hasn’t been chosen just as some vapid eye candy; there are a whole bunch of older actors who could of been hired with more obvious sex appeal. In short, let's give the guy a chance. Secondly, he was the clear choice of new show runner Steven Moffat, new Who’s best writer by a country mile, whose opinion you can’t help but trust on the matter. If he doesn't know who would make a good Doctor then I don't know who would.

All in all, it's made me want to see where they're going to take it, we just have a frustrating wait until 2010 for that to happen.

The Sherbys

2009-01-05T04:52:00.001-08:00

It's that time of the year again for The Sherbys, the Sherby57 Annual Awards. It's a good chance to catch up with some of the more memorable moments of 2008. Have a look at them here.

Highlights include:

Russell Hobbs' Crumb Collision Technology.
TV hit "Fear My Clit".
A poem about a dark rug.
The Bushwhackers and their bobbing heads.
Toastergate
Hans Klaussner is looking for love.

What more could you ask for? Check them out now! I insist!

Ten Predictions For 2009

2009-01-03T09:00:00.000-08:00

It's the last bastion of a lazy blogger... it's a predictions list! Admittedly, some of these predictions are so personal and\or obvious that I'm unlikely to win this year's Nostradamus award (I confidently predict I won't win it).

1. A day won’t go by without me messing with my IPhone to the point of obsession (and beyond).

2. I’ll get angry on a weekly basis over internet forums discussing either “why UK comedy is shit and US comedy is great” or “why US comedy is shit and UK comedy is great”, especially those contributors who state opinions with Hitler-like zeal.

3. This year’s ‘I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here’ will feature someone putting their hand in to some insects whilst squealing.

4. The longer that Liverpool stay in the title race, the more I’ll turn in to a nervous wreck. If they’re still in with a chance of being champions in the last week of the season then I will have to be hospitalised.

5. Football pundits will give opinions that are so black and white, in order to make mundane incidents seem ‘controversial’, that they will cease to have any meaning.

6. I’ll buy books at a rate faster than I can read them.

7. I’ll compulsively update my Amazon recommendations every dinner time while at work, not satisfied until I’ve checked up to at least 500 suggestions. Eventually it will recommend the perfect book. Hopefully.

8. Sky + HD will continue to be an enigma, even after I’ve had it installed. The question will go unanswered; is it the greatest thing ever, or slightly disappointing?

9. I sadly won't blog as much as I'd like to and then feel really pissed off that I didn't, resulting in the odd week throughout the year when I'll post every day for a week or so, before giving up for a couple of months.

10. Computers will become so cheap that you'll get one free with Saturday's Daily Mail. This one is more of a punt than the others.

For some slightly more outlandish of my predictions, click here.

The Can't Be Arsed Factor

2009-01-02T07:57:00.000-08:00

Ah, the ‘New Year’. All the best, take care, thanks for coming, see you next year etc etc. A time of fresh starts and half-hearted resolutions. My new year’s resolution is not to make any resolutions! Boom boom, ha ha. Hilarious.

Anyway.

What better time, than a brand spanking new year, is there to talk about last years X-Factor final? Well, probably within a day or two of it actually happening, but I was too lazy to do that. Sadly, I still feel obliged to finish the whole thing off, so here we are. Sorry about that.

Actually, I don’t know how to say this, other than to just say it; I can’t be arsed writing anything about the X Factor final. And this sums up the ephemeral nature of the programme perfectly. I’d love to be able to say that my previous posts about the talent show were simply me poking a post-modern thumb in the eye of irony, but that would be a big fat lie. It really did matter to me who won as I watched the final, and I would have even voted if my landline phone had been downstairs (I’m not a big enough fan to vote from my mobile). But a mere three weeks later I can barely sum up the energy to finish this sentence. I had so many interesting things to say about the final as well, but the moment has well and truly evaporated. And that’s how it should be.

Anyway, with that finally off my chest, maybe I can get going again with this bloody blog. Fingers crossed.

Lazy Boy

2008-12-17T11:26:00.000-08:00

I knew I was lazy, but this is just ridiculous. I've been off work and the plan was to spend lots of time writing for my two blogs. Ahem... that clearly hasn't happened. I've not even commented on the X Factor final yet, and by the time I do, it will be so hideously out of date, that I'll have to make up some ludicrous excuse for why it's taken so long (look out for that gem in the near - or not so near - future).

So what have I actually spent the last couple of weeks doing? Well, lying in bed has taken up a HUGE percentage of the time. A fact I'm neither proud nor ashamed of. I've spent the last week praying that my new telly is delivered (latest news is that it's coming on Friday!). I went to see stand up comedian Stephen K. Amos on Sunday - I really should write a post about it but it will require another lame excuse for its lack of topicality. I've spent quite a lot of time mithering my cats; I think they'll be glad when I'm back at work. I've read a few books and not read a few others. But mainly it's been bed bed bed.

Hopefully normal service will be resumed soon.

Yours sincerely

Ste

What's in a Name?

2008-12-08T08:25:00.000-08:00

Now, I'm sure that all of you reading this will be wondering, 'Hey! Where does the name "Pour Some Gravy On Me" come from?'. It might sound cocky that I'm so sure that you're interested, but the reason is not because it's such a fascinating conundrum, but because since no one is actually reading this blog, then technically everyone reading it is thinking that. Maybe. I don't know, I've kind of confused myself now. But then, that's the kind of big philosophical questions I like to ask.

Anyway. Originally, I was going to call the blog "An Audience of None", which should be pretty self explanatory. However, this was taken, and I had to think of something on the fly. It having to be something a bit memorable, I searched my other blog (PLUG ALERT), the amazing 'The World of Sherby57' for ideas. And one of those posts was called...

Pour Some Gravy On Me - The post is based on a story I heard, where someone thought it was extremely posh that someone they knew didn't know what gravy was. Personally, I'd call it a sign of stupidity, but then I really am a massive oik, and what would I know?

The title was just a play on the song title 'Pour Some Sugar On Me', by poodle haired Yarkshiremen Def Leppard. I thought that it was a pretty unique title until I googled it and found that some had put this on Youtube:

Anyway, that's all there is to this thrilling story, which was neither thrilling nor a story, but I do hope your curiousity is sated.

Take care gravy fans!

The Fantastic Four?

2008-12-06T08:19:00.000-08:00

Seeing as I've already told you all that I like The X Factor, and since it it's Saturday, I thought I'd do a quick summary of the final four contestants.

Alexandra Burke is clearly the most talented of this years contestants, and if there is any justice will be the winner. One of the strongest auditionees, it wasn't until Candy Man that she really hit her stride in the live shows; and she's been pretty untouchable ever since. What I really think sets her apart (and not just in the current series) is her ability to deliver a performance; you could actually imagine her putting on a entertaining concert, which is a rarity. She also has the genetic advantage of looking like a pop star.

JLS are a classic type of X Factor group; they seem really impressive in the auditions and boot camp, and look like they could be genuine contenders. Come the live shows, however, and they seem to fade like a poster in a shop window. I can't help but feel that Louis Walsh's song choices have hindered rather than helped.

I'm pretty ambivalent about Eoghan Quigg, but I'm guessing I'm not really his target demographic. On his stronger weeks he's been pretty good, but has a tendency to get drowned out by his backing singers. I still think he looks like a badger foetus.

Finally there's 'marmite' queen, Diana Vickers. Diana was the red hot favourite until she missed a week with laryngitis, and has since lost all her momentum. I think that the love her or hate her tag is slightly misleading; for me it's more a case of she's brilliant or she's rubbish, depending on the week. When she's good, she makes the song completely her own, and that's a rare talent. When she's not so good, she sounds like Zed from Police Academy. I think if she worked on her own material, which played to her strengths, she could be really good.

Was there anyone else from the final 12 that should have made it this far? Well Daniel, Girl Band and Bad Lashes should never have got past boot camp. Austin and Rachel had two of the strongest voices in the competition, but struggled to connect with the audience, while Scott's lack of confidence got the better of him in the early weeks. Under different circumstances, these three had the potential to do much better. Laura was an early favourite, and while having a strong voice, the pieces of her jigsaw didn't seem to fit together. Which leaves Ruth, who clearly wasn't the weakest contestant last week and should be competing tonight.

I should end by predicting in what order I think the contestants will finish in... but I think it's virtually impossible. You could make a case for any of the acts winning, since it's a popularity as well as a talent contest. I will give you my list for how I think they SHOULD finish:

4) JLS
3) The Quigg
2) Diana
1) Alex

I'll be back after the final to see how accurate I was.

That's What It's Made For!

2008-12-05T05:46:00.000-08:00

Earlier this week my poor little car suffered terribly with the cold snap and I needed to get a new battery. After a jump start, I managed to get to Kwik Fit and had an enjoyable session staring in to space in the waiting room.

After a while, I zoned in to a conversation going on between two of the other customers. It was one of those delightfully random conversations you get when two chatty strangers are bored. Given the location, they ran the gamut of motoring topics, before focusing in on garages. Like a bad observational comedy routine they talked about how they're full of bikes and other assorted junk, and how you can't get in them. Then I heard the following:

WOMAN: There's one woman in our street who actually puts her car in the garage....every night!

MAN: Unbelievable!!

NB: The two exclamation marks don't do any justice to the incredulity in his voice.

Now, it's fair enough to say that most people don't use their garages for cars. But is it appropriate to be amazed that someone is using something for its intended purpose? I really don't know what this country is coming to.

Get Arrested

2008-12-04T05:34:00.000-08:00

For the last few months I've been a regular visitor of Springfield Punx blog, where its author, Dean, draws Simpsons-ized versions of characters from the worlds of TV and comics. This has the potential to be incredibly naff, but it's actually rather excellent; mainly because the drawings are so good that they might as well be done by the Simpsons artists themselves.

This week saw the posting of all the characters from Arrested Development, one of my favourite TV shows of all time. I almost squealed with delight when I first saw them, but, being at work, I managed to suppress it.

I'd post one of the pictures here to show you, but I don't really think that conforms to blog etiquette, so follow this link to have a look for yourself:

http://springfieldpunx.blogspot.com/2008/11/huzzah-its-arrested-development.html

Hopefully he will release a range of t-shirts because I NEED a Simpsons GOB t-shirt. I'd also like to see Simpson-ized versions of Frank Spencer and Alan Partridge, but then I'm guessing that would just be me.

Me Reading Comics RIP

2008-12-03T13:03:00.000-08:00

I went in to the kitchen, at work last Friday, to make a drink, when I glanced over at a copy of the Metro someone had left lying around. I was instantly drawn to the picture of Batman on the front cover, not the movie Batman, but the real one from the comics. The story was reporting on the purported death of the caped crusader in the recently released Batman #681. I was hit with two emotions.

First came a sense of disappointment in Grant Morrison, for (allegedly) killing off Bruce Wayne. It's not easy to accept that one of your favourite writers has just murdered your favourite ever character. By rights, I should have been furious, but this was tempered by the fact that I haven't actually read any of the storyline in question. The second emotion that I felt was a sense of sadness at being so hopelessly out of touch with the comic book world. And it's the reasons I lost touch with them that I'd like to tell you about.

I fell in love with comics at the age of 2, when my dad bought me my first Batman Annual. I don't know why he thought it was a good idea to buy it for a toddler, or what it was that appealed to me at such a young age, but I was definitely hooked. I won't bore you with the entire history of my life in comics, suffice to say that as I got older and had access to more money, my comic consumption grew with it. By the time I started work, I was buying 40-50 comics a month and was in danger of becoming hopelessly addicted. However, within a few years it would all be over.

I offically gave up buying monthly comics in January 2002, and I know this because it coincided with buying my first house. Ostensibly, the reason was that I couldn't afford the £80+ a month when I had a mortgage to pay. And whilst that was true, it wouldn't have happened had I not been so fed up with buying comics. Please note that it was buying not reading them that I was sick of!

As a reader, I had always been a follower of writers rather than artists (which by my reckoning made me a DC-man rather than a Marvel-ite), and in those early years of the millenium there seemed to be more writers worth following than ever. With the dedication of an addict, my monthly reading list seemed to continuously grow, adding titles because I was scared of missing the next big thing. With the market how it was, the early issues of a new series would have low print runs, meaning that when it becomes popular, it's a real chore to try and catch up with the scarce issues. Even though it was annoying trying to keep track of so many different books, the thing that really killed my enthusiasm was the way that the comics were distributed.

Every month, each serious cusomer received a copy of Previews, a several hundred page catalogue of all comic book releases a couple of months in the future. It would be my job to scour the pages and detail all the titles I wanted, and then e-mailing this list my supplier; who would then post them to me when they were in stock. Now, if you give someone a list of 50 things you want from them in two months time, which they will then send to you in weekly batches, you should probably have a system to keep track of them. And I will hold my hand up and take my fair share of the blame for not keeping better tabs on my orders, but I will also point out that it was supposed to be entertainment, not a job in accountancy. Before too long, I had lost track of my orders, partly through being disorganised, and partly through a fundamental flaw in the industry.

It would be relatively simple to confirm if I had received what I ordered, if the comics were published when they were supposed to. However, it wasn't uncommon for individual issues to be delayed by several months, if not, in the odd exception, several years. The big companies, on the whole, were much better, but even they had their moments. You are then faced with the problem of trying to chase up comics that hadn't been delivered with no way of knowing if and when they will actually be published. If this was any normal industry, that had to cope without fanatical customers, then they would have gone bust years ago.

My perception for the cause of the delays was that one of the creators, more often than not a superstar penciller, is only able to complete a fraction of the pages needed for a monthly title. Now, I accept that you can't rush art, but if you can only produce five pages of finished pencils every month, then it might not be the best idea to accept a job on a monthly book. It also makes you wonder why the publishers don't move away from monthly formats for such artists. How long would you watch a soap opera for if you had to wait a varying number of weeks between episodes, and you weren't told in advance when it would be shown in the schedules? Well, even if you actually like the soaps, then I'd guess it wouldn't be for very long.

By the time I stopped buying them, I had no idea how many comics were owed to me that I never saw, but it wouldn't surprise me if it was in the hundreds. Yes, it was stupid of me to not challenge this more vigourously, but the situation definitely didn't help. When I received my last delivery, I was more relieved to draw a line under it all, than sad that there would be no more.

Maybe six years later, the publishers have their houses in order, I certainly hope they do. If not, they may well lose a lot more dedicated readers like they lost me; I still love my comics, but I'm not tempted to go back.

Emergency Beacon

2008-12-02T20:57:00.000-08:00

WARNING WARNING! IMPORTANT INFORMATION ENCLOSED WITHIN!

I had wanted to write a post a day on here.

You might have noticed that I haven't written a post a day.

I didn't realise how long it would take to write, even my amateurish articles, when you have to actually stop and proof read them. Since I've been working on the first draft of my next proper post for about 45 minutes, and it being still nowhere near finished, I thought I should do an emergency beacon post. This fulfills two vital functions:

1) Stopping my current posts looking quite so lonely. A blog really needs more than two posts.

2) To reassure my imaginary readers that I am actually working on this and haven't given up after two days.

MESSAGE COMPLETE.

X-Rated

2008-11-30T07:42:00.000-08:00

As a rule, I'm not a huge fan of reality shows; it takes a superhuman effort for me not to scream when I hear people in work talking about 'I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here'. Instead, I generally just have a rant about it being the same every year, and pointing out that eating a kangaroo's ring piece doesn't technically constitute entertainment. The one show that I've always had a soft spot for though, is The X Factor.

Reality TV is more powerful than religion. They try and tempt you with their obviously empty offers of entertainment, which you happily ignore, smug in the knowledge that you aren't wasting your life like the rest of the herd. Until one day you get curious and tune in, only as an ironic observer of course, happily mocking all of those who have been drawn in by it. And you carry on watching because it's hilarious; how are so many people possibly falling for this old rubbish? They're idiots! And on you go, chuckling contentedly to yourself, right up until the final, when you realise you have spent over twenty quid voting for your favourite contestant, knowing it would be a catastrophe if that other annoying twat were to win. Then like the sad junkie that you've become, you writhe around your living room in agony, desperate with the sudden loss of your fix, scouring the TV schedules for the methadone that is Celebrity Big Brother. And even though you eventually find something to curb your craving, and are able to move on with your life, you'll always feel hollow inside, knowing that your old self is smugly grinning at you from somewhere deep within.

But I digress. I genuinely do like the X Factor and it has the following advatages over its competition:

1) The auditions process. It would be too obvious to just say that the audtions are hilarious, even though they often are. What really fascinates me though is the trend, in recent series, for auditionees with such a lack of self-awareness that having them on the show can only feel like bullying. And not from the obvious source of Mr Cowell's jibes, but from the simple fact that these people are allowed to get through the initial screening process at all. They might as well hang a sign round their necks saying, 'They've only put me through so you can laugh at how stupid I am'.

Now, I'm not saying that cruelty is a good reason for liking something, far from it. It's just that some of these people seem so unrealistic that days later, I find myself still debating whether or not some of them are actors. I mean, surely some of them must be? Surely? How many TV shows give you so much to think about?

2) Talent. Despite what some snottier commentators may say (including my dad - but he's not really an expert), there are always at least some of the contestants that are talented (anyone remember Leona Lewis?); and watching a competition based (at least partly) on an ability, is always more entertaining that voting for the least unlikable person in the jungle.

3) Cheryl Cole. Quite simply, I'm in love.

4) Judges that fight. Yes, it's a big pantomime in which Simon and Louis desperately want to be the dame, but there's nothing wrong with a good pantomime. You can't beat a good bit of melodrama and overacting on a Saturday night. Even fake hissy fits and tantrums can liven up any show.

5) The Xtra Factor. Yes, it's a bonus that it's hosted by the lovely Holly Willoughby (whose attractiveness is the epitome of being more than the sum of its parts), but it's getting the backstage opinions of the judges and contestants that counts. It really adds to your feeling of involvement in the show (perhaps to an unhealthy level, admittedly). And Holly is far more than just a pretty face and has the talent to bring a real warmth to the show. You can't help but feel that she will be poached to host the main show before too long, which would be a shame as the Xtra Factor is the far more interesting gig.

And last but not least,

6) Sob stories. No, I'm only joking, even I don't like the sob stories.

This year has been particularly competitive, although whether that's because the line up has been generally strong or uniformly weak, I don't know. It's almost impossible to make a objective call on this while the competition is still in progress. That said, I was sad to see Ruth go home last night, as she was nowhere near the weakest of the five remaining competitors (I'm looking at you JLS!). It would be a crime if Alexandra Burke doesn't go on to win; not only has she got the strongest voice in the contest, but she looks every inch the pop star and is the only contestant who has really given a performance week in week out. But being the most talented makes it almost inevitable that she won't win; if I had to pick a winner it would be badger foetus, Eoghan Quigg.

Incidentally, I'd like to give a hearty thank you to James Corden over on the Xtra Factor last night, for saying what we were all thinking about Britney's dismal 'performance'. Why they bothered with her is something of a mystery, but I'm guessing Simon won't be asking her back next year.

On a final note, it's worth noting the influence of Sky Plus on my continued fascination with the show. If you count the Xtra Factor episodes (which of course I do), the show was on for a staggering 3 hours 55 minutes (7:35 till 11:30!). With Sky Plus I was able to watch it all in 1 hour 33 minutes. If I had to watch it live, I think the excessive amount of padding would have driven me mad years ago.

Vote for Alex!

Why I Is Here

2008-11-29T06:16:00.000-08:00

So, I should probably start with the age old question, 'Why are you starting this blog?'.

The short (and brutally honest) answer is that I have the deluded belief that I'll get discovered as the Samuel Pepys of the technological age, at which point someone will offer me oodles of cash to write for a living. And as a by-product, I can give up the soul destroying IT job I've had for the last 10 years.

The long answer is slightly longer.

I've always wanted to be able to write for a living, but unfortunately I suffer from a terrible affliction; I'm a lifelong 'quitter'. In the words of Billy Ocean, when the going gets tough, Steven gets going. For many years, I just sat around and thought about writing. I had plenty of ideas for stories but I don't think that really counts. Finally, in 2002 I bought a notebook in order to force myself to at least start to write something. And I while I did start, having a six-month gap between entries, pretty much kills any momentum. I also started two novels in this period, and both sadly fell by the wayside.

I got around to starting my own blog in May 2007, the wonderful (if I may say so), The World Of Sherby57. It's not a normal blog, in that, rather than talk about things that interest me, I just generally spout alot of nonsense. Spouting nonsense is not necessarily a bad thing, but it doesn't lead to very disciplined writing. And, while there is lots of stuff on there now, it has tended to come in fits and starts.

As time has gone on, i.e. in the last few days, I've realised that you need to post and be writing on as regular a basis as possible. To this end, over on Sherby57, I've managed to post entries for the last 4, yes 4, days! I know it sounds really pathetic, but it's pretty impressive for me.

Apart from frequency, I've started to feel like I should actually write about something, rather than just express whatever gibberish floats off the top of my head. Since I didn't really want to change the tone of the other blog, then here I am! Will I stick with it and actually post here on a regular basis? We'll just have to wait and see, but I hope you'll join me in the exciting journey.