Monday, 11 May 2009

I Has Moved

Dear Reader,

In the event that you are reading this blog, and want to read more, please visit its new home at:


Thanks!

Friday, 23 January 2009

The Official Celebrity Big Brother Pole - The Final



It's the final day of CBB for another year, and as such we've compiled two separate poles:

The Order We Think They Will Finish



1. Verne
2. Ben
3. Coolio
4. Ulrika 
5. Terry

The Order In Which We'd Like Them To Finish



1. Terry
2. Coolio
3. Verne
4. Ulrika
5. Ben

We'll be back after the final to see how our predictions fared.

The Official Celebrity Big Brother Pole - 22nd Jan





Apathy has set in, right before the final. Yesterday's results were:

1=Terry
1=Coolio
3=Ben
3=Ulrika
5. Verne

It's all getting very tight, and Verne has plummeted down the rankings. Who will win? You decide. Well, you do if you bother to vote.

Wednesday, 21 January 2009

The Official Celebrity Big Brother Pole - 21st Jan




Getting near the end now and my will is fading fast:

1. Terry - Takes advantage of Verne's slip.
2. Coolio
3. Ben
4. Ulrika
5. Verne - A tremendous fall from grace - and this is with JLS voting too!
6. Tommy
7. La Toya

The Official Celebrity Big Brother Pole - 20th Jan





The 'pole' is controversially being published a day late, due in no small part to this controversial letter:

Steven,
I feel in would be inappropriate for me to participate in today's BB
Pole as I failed to watch last nights show.
It is with deep regret that I did
not fulfil my duty last night. As a result I feel that the only way manner in
which this situation can be rectified is by you solely calculating the scores
for the BB Pole today.
Apologies,
Your esteemed colleague.
JLS

So, as a result, I had to compile the rankings alone, so alone, cold and lonely. And here they are (mainly based on chillie eating):


1. Terry - Terry has been my personal pick since the beginning and it's JLS' love of Verne that has kept him from the top spot.
2. Ben - Remained very calm whilst eating chillies.
3. Verne - Eating two chillies must count as more than double for Vernon.
4. Coolio - Only had two chillies.
5. Ulrika - Needs to cheer up.
6. Tommy - Still not recovered from the day he went mental.
7. La Toya - Laughs like her brother. Disturbing.

Monday, 19 January 2009

The Official Celebrity Big Brother Pole - 19th Jan




Sometimes they say that you shouldn't vote out the annoying contestants because they provide more entertainment. To an extent I agree with the sentiment. In Tina's case, she had to go, and she thankfully did. Oh, and Mutya skulked out, leaving the pressing question, 'did she get paid?'.
It's all change on the leaderboard after a busy weekend:

1. Coolio - He's sprung to the top spot from nowhere, and he probably provide most value.
2. Terry - Steady Eddy, well, Steady Terry.
3=Verne - Has slipped down the rankings as I still try to come to terms with his drunken antics.
3=Michelle - Does she like Ben?
3=Ben - Does he like Michelle?
6. Ulrika - Quite low because she whacked Terry.
7. La Toya - I've nothing against her, she just isn't really involved.
8. Tommy - Went a bit mental last night.

There's an eviction tonight, so will it be Tommy to go? We'll see you tomorrow.

Friday, 16 January 2009

The Official Celebrity Big Brother Pole - 16th Jan



Oh it's eviction night and the feeling's right. For Tina to be booted out.
1) Verne - Back on top, mainly for jumping off some boxes in to Michelle's arms.
2) Coolio - He's the only contestant with a cookery book.
3) Terry - The manc slips.
4) Ben - Moves up a couple of places due to his hiding under a duvet.
5) Michelle - A non-mover, despite catching Verne.
6) Mutya - Up two places for a sterling performance on the giant piano.
7=Ulrika - Crys over children.
7=Tommy - Slips four places for pretending to sleep through Carwash.
9) La Toya - Not unpleasant, just a bit too anonymous.
10) Tina - How can she simultaneously believe the following facts about her chances of beating 80,000 hits for her ballet challenge? A) "I'm not going to lose, no way, I'm on fucking Channel 4" and B) "I told you we'd lose, I just said we'd only get about 30, 40 thousand hits". They can't both be right love.